It is a dark day indeed when someone with morals as perverted as Mr. Apple’s will remind me of my inadequacy as a blogger. Yet, I have to admit, the challenge of tri-weekly posting, let alone daily posting has been pressing down on me and crushing my insides, not unlike the sole of a Doc Martin on a pigeon’s skull.
For those of you, after last post, who are concerned for my disfigurement, like Tirunesh, worry not: there are few things as precious to me as my face.
So why the robust lack of posting when compared to the glory days of, say, last April? Well, here’s a brief list of catalysts to my blog’s downfall.
1. For nearly the past month, I had been suffering at the hands of CIA Local Phone, a company that lures you in with cheap phone and high speed internet (which works great when it’s up and running), and then snatches it from your clutches leaving a gentleman like me, and his Russian counterpart, adrift in a sea of phonelessness and Internet anemia.
2. Three days a week, I have been rehearsing for my role as Ricky Roma in David Mamet’s Glengarry Glen Ross, a hugely successful play made even more famous by the 1992 movie of the same name, in which Al Pacino expertly recites the line “You ever take a dump that made you feel you’d just slept for twelve hours?”
3. The throes of the Christmas season are upon us, and I have a history of being, oh…less than thoughtful with gifts. I am attempting to change that, but this means spending many an evening perusing the various hubs of Ottawa’s consumer culture looking for ways to redeem myself as a brother, boyfriend and son.
That is all I am currently willing to share with you, though I will do my absolute best to use this Christmas break in refuelling this blog’s energy. Mr Apple, thank you for the awakening, though I hope you will do me the pleasure of “forgetting” to send me my invitation to your annual endive roast and beat poetry reading.