- A peanut is actually a “legume”, a “legume” is actually a vegetable, and a vegetable is actually a brain-dead person. You do the math. That means that every time you eat a Reese’s cup, you should be be feeling guilty for two reasons, one of which is cannibalism.
- If your balls were actually two pieces of toast, you’d save time one morning. And then you’d be sterile.
- It’s surprising that Kramer wouldn’t have been more racially sensitive, especially after all the time he spent hanging around with Jackie Chiles.
- I’ve never even finished a game of Monopoly before. I don’t know why, but it seems like no game I’ve ever been a part of has ever finished. Do you think there is a special part of the afterlife reserved for someone like me? If there is, I’m pretty sure it’ll be filled with kids from poor, non board-game playing nations…and Communists.