Things My Brain Makes 6

  • Brain
  • If I were buried alive, I think it might be actually not that bad. I mean, you’d starve and everything, but at least you’d have an OK time thinking about your life, letting memories roll by slowly as you begin to suffocate, and ponder what you’ve done wrong. Let’s face it–if someone’s burying you alive, you must have done something to deserve it. Smarten up, next time.
  • If you won the lottery, would you bother sleeping anymore, or would you just pay someone to hold your eyelids open all night?
  • Some say that Earth is the only planet in the universe that would have all the factors necessary to sustain life (liquid water being one of them), and that due to the small temperature window in which water is at a liquid state, it is very unlikely that another planet would be placed at such an opportune distance from another star. Fair enough. But what if an extra cold planet had an ocean of liquid nitrogen to act as its organic soup, and all the elements in the aliens’ bodies were tailored to that respectively harsher landscape? You know: dense iron stomachs, tungsten eyeballs, and fiber-optic hairs. Just one of those creatures could be killed and used to make and power a whole IT network. It would be like the fur fiasco all over again, but with things that would be decidedly less cute than chinchillas.
  • I scratched a mosquito bite on the top of my foot too vigourously, and it bled and left a scar. Though I don’t remember scratching the other foot, I now have an identical scar on it, as well. Making me sort of look like I have stigmata. Do you think God is just being half assed, and decided to bless me with this ailment because he would only have to do one foot instead of two, since the other one was already bleeding? Whatever the case, come worship me.

3 Responses to “Things My Brain Makes 6”

  1. July 28, 2006 at 6:37 am

    Buried alive doesn’t sound too bad except for the suffocating part, that would be kind of like drowning but a lot slower. I don’t know about the chinchilla thing but sure kill some aliens.

    All hail Nick!!…..Wait I have 2 scars on my wrists, maybe that means I am too. Depending on which version you believe, the nails went through the wrists or hands but hands wouldn’t have been strong enough to hold him up because the bones are just like your fingers and would just rip your skin and you would fall but in your wrists the bones cross and then you have more bones to keep you up.

  2. July 28, 2006 at 9:20 am

    I’m a wrist man, myself. Thanks for the hails! Each hail I get makes me more and more powerful…

  3. August 1, 2006 at 12:29 pm

    Hmm, we’re not suppose to worship any another only God himself.

    If I won the lottery I would still sleep, I don’t think that sleep is overrated.

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