31
May
06

Ironic Things That Could Happen

Today, as I biked home from work, I passed a residential intersection just one block from my house. Coming perpendicularly from the right was a "ParaTranspo" bus, Ottawa's "Para" equivalent for its OC Transpo bus line. Knowing that the bus had a stop sign and I didn't, I continued unabated through the intersection.

Then I mentally pretended that I was just so ballsy that I sped through the intersection with a devil-may-care attitude purposely to cross it before the bus came through. This led to me imagining getting hit by the ParaTranspo bus and the accident severing my spinal cord, effectively turning me into a paraplegic who would need to ride on that very bus I was speeding past, trying to save time.

Hence the irony.

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9 Responses to “Ironic Things That Could Happen”


  1. May 31, 2006 at 5:35 pm

    Well then…you bike to work and like to speed also. Weird as I sometimes also have those visions. How do we get rid of them?

  2. 2 paslibe
    June 1, 2006 at 7:27 am

    Instead of speeding, slow down, make sure the bus does stop and I am sure those visions will eventually disappear. I am saying this since in my younger days I used to speed, had those crazy visions, and later I decided to slow down. And behold, other pleasant visions took over.

  3. 3 Rolland
    June 1, 2006 at 8:40 am

    Nick, what are you doing over there? Geez….

  4. June 1, 2006 at 9:33 am

    I say next time, plow into it headlong, sceaming “IRONY!!!!” the entire time. You’ll end up a vegetable, but it will give those around you a good laugh.

  5. June 1, 2006 at 9:49 am

    Ryan, the paradox is this: if I purposely plow into it headlong, all the irony is effectively removed, thereby making my shouting the battle cry of a madman. They won’t laugh, so much as have a fitful sleep.

    Paslibe, so what you’re saying is this. Going fast = violent and ironic visions
    Going slow = pleasant visions

    What about sitting still?

  6. 6 paslibe
    June 2, 2006 at 7:29 am

    Sitting still = death. Don’t go there.

  7. 7 shane
    June 7, 2006 at 1:01 am

    Knowing the way Ottawa buses work, he’d probably have offered to drive you to the hospital after hitting you, but then not allowing you on the bus because your carcass would be “over the yellow line” and “blocking the side-view mirror”.

    Bus drivers are dicks… I can only imagine the para-transpo ones have even more of a grudge.

  8. 8 josh
    June 26, 2006 at 5:15 am

    you need to listen to the decemberists nickolai…

    irony… sheesh…

  9. 9 Katie
    July 25, 2007 at 6:53 pm

    hahahhahahha this is no joke……….
    i actually was driving to a friends place today and I saw the paratranspo bus, and i thought of exactly the same thing…getting in an accident by colliding with one, becoming physically challenged, and needing to ride one for the rest of my life. i then wondered if this has ever happened…so waiting for my friend to get to his place, i went on his computer and looked up ‘paratranspo hits’ to see if there were any headlines of the sort…that’s what brought me here.
    straaaaaange.


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