24
Feb
06

And Lo! The answer came unto him. And he saw that it was good.

Oh my, oh my, oh my.

Just when I thought I knew everything there was to know about word processing, an angel by the name of Peter Lynn came unto me and showed me the way. Maybe some of you knew this already, but I had never stumbled across it in my near 26 years of livelihood.

Have you ever begun to type feverishly while looking somewhere other than the screen, only to find that YOU ACCIDENTALLY HIT CAPS LOCK AT THE BEGINNING? At this point, you are either forced to erase and re-type the sentence, or purge your sins in a confessional in the hopes that God will no longer smite you while working and save his cruel and unusual penance for the weekend.

Well, my pudding-thighed friends, you’ll be glad to hear that you can go back to tripping retarted service workers and pleasuring yourself in hotel lobbies without fear of reprisal, cause henceforth, God’s ability to stage word-processor based attacks on you will be severely stymied.

Shift + F3.

That’s right. It switches it all back down to lowercase. Highlight that shit and do it up. Don’t bother thanking me—rather, begin worrying about the new and creative ways the Lord will seek retribution upon you for electrocuting that chipmunk when you were 16, now that your typed documents are no longer vulnerable.

I’ve heard he’s fond of diabetes.

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3 Responses to “And Lo! The answer came unto him. And he saw that it was good.”


  1. February 24, 2006 at 5:42 pm

    So, I’m not suppose to say thank you…but thanks anyway.

  2. 2 ada
    February 27, 2006 at 10:51 pm

    either that or you can highlight the whole thing and then go to format and change case. you can choose all lower case, all UPPER CASE, or even Title Case. word processing tricks are fun… god i need to get out more

  3. February 28, 2006 at 3:35 pm

    It’s so strange that I never stumbled upon that in all my years of typing nonsense. Ada, you are a god in the body of a Ukrainian man.


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