Upping the Ante

5 bladesWell, a few days ago, I made a brief reference to a humour article supposedly by the CEO of Gillette declaring he would take the razor war to the quintosphere. That same day, I happened to be looking at a TV (something I don’t do too often, due to my lack of cable) when I saw a commercial for the Gillette Fusion.

So, essentially, Gillette really “went there” (snap fingers accordingly), in a slow response to Schick’s Quattro. The odd thing is, that article is pretty old, and I posted it on a whim. So you can imagine my joy in realizing that something I put on my blog was actually pertinent.

What I am sort of suprised at, is the fact that Gillette ads are still taking their products as seriously as ever. There’s no ironic mention that they did exactly what every red-blooded man-who-won’t-go-to-a-power-shaver knew they would do. There have even been countless commercials spoofing the razor wars. Even the Schick company at least had a lighthearted approach to itself when they unleashed their 4 bladed razor. I believe the commercial went: “FOUR BLADES?! Where’s it gonna stop?” (a few seconds of flashing and bladelike sounds)….. “HERE.” (a man holding the razor up to the camera with conviction.)

But, no, the Gillette commercial was a serious as ever, and featured all the crisp shiny graphics and women stroking men’s faces that we’ve come to expect from a good razor ad. They even tried to add some of the trademark science jargon into the narration, except at this, they failed miserably. And I quote:
“The blades are spaced 30 percent closer together than MACH3 blades. This creates a ‘Shaving Surface’ that distributes the shaving force across the blades for significantly less irritation and more comfort.”

Shaving Surface‘? That’s the big scientific term (which they’ve trademarked, to boot)? I mean, give me something to wrap my head around. Why not: “Gillette presents its revolutionary ‘blade matrix.'” Or: “experience the power of Gillette’s ‘PentaSlice‘ technology.” Or even: “You’ll have to feel the ‘PowerCut‘ system at work to believe it.”

Despite all this, I’m a Gillette user through and through. I’ve been a Mach3 guy for many, many years, and it’s never let me down. Will I make the switch to the five blade razor?

Only time, and the fact that I currently wear a beard, will tell.


2 Responses to “Upping the Ante”

  1. February 14, 2006 at 6:51 pm

    I’d forgotten about that Schick commercial. That man adamantly insisting the proliferation of blades would never exceed the madness of four blades was none other than Survivor: Africa beefcake Colby Donaldson. I used to get a laugh out of how he turned so deadly serious when he said “Here.”

  2. February 15, 2006 at 3:28 pm

    Oh my god! It was Colby! You handsome renegade, Colby. You will forever be my authority on which numbers are higher than which other numbers.

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