Me: You won’t believe the personality of these small sidewalk plows! Like little elven automatons, they hustle about so lithely, making short work of what would normally take a brawny Swede four times the labour. What wonderful contrabulations! So saucy and independent! What’s that? Oh, Hi Martin Plow!
Martin: “Beep! Beep! I may not be as big as those other guys, but I’m more versamatile! ”
Me: Slow down, Martin Plow! You’re going a mile a minute! What’s the big rush?
Martin: “I gotta work twice as hard as those big mean government-funded guys. But can they turn on a dime like I can? I don’t think so!”
Me: You sure have a lot of control, Martin! Your mother must be very proud!
Martin: “Uh huh! Mama says I should always work really hard and try my best! Look at me go! I’m cleaning the top level of a parking lot!”
Me: That’s a very important job, Martin!
Martin: “See, only a little guy like me can do it! Not the big guys! They’re too big!”
Me: Ha Ha! You’re quite the little trooper–what’s that you’re doing now, Martin?
Martin: “To be quicker, I’m just dumping the snow off the side of the parking garage! My mom told me to be the best, I gotta think quicker than the big guys too! I bet the people below think it’s snowing again! Ha ha: tricked them!”
Me: Uh, careful, Martin, that’s not snow! Those are large sheets of ice!
Martin: “And the more I plow, the more I dump down, and the more bestest job I’m doing! Look people, it’s the winter time! Don’t get snowed in, now! Ha Ha!”
Me: –Um…Martin, those are really sharp shards now…
Martin: “Dumpity dump dump, dumpity dump dump, look at Martin go! Dumpity dump dump, dumpity dump dump, onto the folks below! Don’t cry, little baby! Your mom’s just playing in the snow!”
Martin: YAY! I’m all done! I’m the fastest!