Things my Brain Makes 2

  • Brain 2 Do you think ant societies have had “ages” similar to humanity’s “bronze age” and “information age”? If so, they’d probably be much shorter and would deal with more focused characteristics, like “the rain age”, the “age of the queen rolling on top of that one guy” or “the age of carrying onion shavings.”
  • How is it that Helen Hunt’s career went somewhere after Mad About You, but Paul Reiser’s didn’t? I just think it’s weird, but maybe that’s just because I consider her to be about as engaging to watch as a torn and soiled pair of work socks. Scratch that: do you know how much shit would be going on on those if you had a microscope?
  • If they ever succeeded in making matter transport commercially viable, it would really save you a hassle for drycleaning.
  • If, while making Back to the Future, Robert Zemeckis had stuck with Universal Studio’s choice of Eric Stoltz to play Marty McFly, with whom they did six weeks worth of filming, Michael J. Fox would have ended up playing the heroin dealer in Pulp Fiction. He would have had to grow out his hair and die it red, learn how to swear, and practice holding Uma Thurman down as she O.D.’d, three things he probably will never get the chance to do at this late juncture in his otherwise successful career.
  • If white is the combination of all the colours of the spectrum, then shouldn’t white paint be the most expensive to buy? People with white walls should therefore be considered overindulgent. They should be getting comments from friends visiting like “Wow, you went with the white walls, huh? It’s so luxurious… I’m not bold enough to try and pull that off myself but you made it work, Diane.”



1 Response to “Things my Brain Makes 2”

  1. 1 Tabby
    January 8, 2006 at 9:02 pm

    Dear Nick,

    I have found this most recent post to be your most interesting. I especially enjoyed the part about the white paint.

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